Warning this post may contain some TMI, so proceed at your own risk!
In exactly one week, I will be undergoing a robotic laparoscopic hysterectory. I’m most likely wording or spelling it wrong, but my uterus and cervix are being removed using tiny incisions on my abdomen.
Telling people isn’t something I’ve done easily. I told my family and less than 3 friends. I wasn’t going to even post about this. I’m not one to post pictures with my IV in and check into medical centers on Facebook often. I may have done so for awareness before, but this feels more personal. Writing this is helping me relax and accept that it is coming up quickly.
There are a few family members that ask why I don’t want anymore kids. I’m not getting this surgery because of that. If I was healthy and capable, I’d have two more. My husband and I wanted a big family. Since I have one of each, I’m starting to be okay with not being able to have children.
In terms of the hospital and surgery prepartions, I feel slighly ready and well versed, because I’ve had 3 other laparoscopic surgeries before this one. I’ve had my gallbladder removed. I’ve had my right ovary and a tumor from my left ovary removed. I’ve also had a procedure that removed scar tissue (adhesions) away from some organs. So basically, I have had some stomach and pelvic issues in the past. I’ve struggled with pain for a few years. It seems like every time they fix me up, something else happens or is found. This time, endometriosis and adhesions are to blame.
I’ve had very outrageous periods that made me so sick. I’ve had pain from just sitting at certain angles. It’s been an experience, that’s for sure. I’ve tried everything they suggested- different birth controls, yoga and exercises, and changed eating habits. I was fed up with struggling to get on the floor and play with my kids, so I went back to the doctor. I knew that a hysterectory was an option, but at 27, I was hesitant.
I was fairly confused about endometriosis and adhesions when the doctor was telling me the most likely culprits of my pain. I thought they were both scar issue and were taken care of in a previous surgery, then I remembered they keep growing.
Endometriosis occurs when the cells that your uterus sheds every month during your period begin to grow outside of your uterus.
When these cells swell and your uterus tries to shed them, the area around them becomes inflamed. One affected area can become stuck to another affected area as both areas try to heal. This creates a band of scar tissue known as an adhesion.
Adhesions are most often found throughout your pelvic area, around your ovaries, uterus, and bladder. Endometriosis is one of the most common reasons why women develop adhesions unrelated to a prior surgery.
Adhesions are bands of fibrous scar tissue, which forms inside the body. They can be found anywhere in the body between almost all organs and tissue.
I absorbed all the information I could from my previous doctors and surgeons. It seemed to all flow in a circle. Dr. Google provided me with some clarity so I was starting to grasp the big picture. I understand it’s not just one thing or a simple fix. It’s an attempt to help me live a more pain free life.
I know another surgery could create even more scar tissue, but there’s more to this surgery than that. Having my reproductive organs removed is a big deal. I’ve had issues with tumors and cysts on my ovaries, and I’m already one short. Having my uterus and cervix removed will leave me with only one ovary.
I’m looking forward to no more periods and not having to take birh control. I’m excited to have little to no pain once the healing process is over, but I have fears.
Will one ovary keep me from going into menopause? The doctor said so, but is it a sure thing? Will my sex drive be the same? I’m married and love my husband. I need to be able to physically love up on my husband. I know it will help pain associated with sex, but is that also a guarantee? I have questions that have been answered, but it doesn’t mean I feel assured. It doesn’t completely make the questions disappear.
The biggest fear is about whether or not I will wake up. I know that seems extreme, but I have toddlers and a husband. I have never been away from my daughter overnight and was only away from my son while I gave birth to my daughter. I’m a clingy mom with separation issues. That’s the most difficult part for me.
I swear this will be the slowest week of my life. I feel like the pain is more intense and my nerves are right up there with it. I have a great support system, but I’m losing a part of me I wasn’t ready to lose. I have to keep reminding myself it’s worth it.
Thanks for reading my odd medical rant about fear and lady parts. I know there are much worse situations and medical issues, but that doesn’t mean the fear will just go away.