I look back at my high school pictures, and it blows my mind that I thought negative things. Honestly, I was so cruel to my body, but after years of bulimia and struggling to love myself, I finally feel beautiful. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I am starting to have balance in my life and I embrace my body.
I still have bad days, but I am human. For the most part, I’m confident and comfortable in my skin. I gave birth to two beautiful babies, and I’m going to be 28 years old in a month. I’d say it’s about damn time that I love myself!
My cousin recently gave me a bag of hand me down clothes, and I love that she still does this even though we are adults now. She’s always had an edgier style than me, so the things she gives me aren’t usually what I would buy for myself. She gave me this fairly sexy body suit, and I have to say, it makes me feel good.
Time Brings Changes
When my body changed after kids, I didn’t let myself wear crop tops, swim suits, shorts, or anything body hugging. My cousin put a lot of those things in this bag of clothes, and I felt pretty good in most of it.
I’m definitely guilty of wishing I could dress like most of the models, plus size or not, on Pinterest. They are all really gorgeous and working those outfits. So, why can’t I? Just because I’m not a model doesn’t mean I can’t dress myself in things that make me feel good.
I don’t think you should ever restrict yourself from wearing something you like because you’re afraid it won’t look good for your size. All sizes are beautiful. All bodies are beautiful. It’s an easy concept to say, but that doesn’t always mean we listen. I know I don’t take compliments very well. I get awkward and brush it off. This year, I’m going to accept those kind words, and I think you should too!
For My Kids
I want my kids to grow up surrounded by body confidence. I was surrounded by image negativity growing up. My one uncle and grandfather still call me fat and have done so my whole life, and they aren’t the only ones. A few days ago that same uncle told my 3 year old son he was getting fat. I lost it on him! He just laughed and said I was fat too. I won’t let my kids around those people often, and if we have to be in the same vicinity, we will keep our distance.
I want my kids to be happy and love themselves. My husband and I try to choose our words wisely when we talk about ourselves around the kids, because we don’t want them to ever feel like they aren’t amazing and beautiful. I don’t ever want to be a negative influence on how my children feel about themselves, which is why I’m going to do everything in my power to be consistent with my confidence.
Loving yourself isn’t always as easy as following a guideline, but I do want to share the small ways that helped me find my body confidence, and hopefully I can continue feeling this positive about myself.
One Step at a Time
1. Stop Comparing Yourself.
I could say this until I’m blue in the face, but it was the most challenging step for me. I still catch myself doing this, but I always remind myself that everyone is their own brand of beauty.
2. Everyone Sees Differently.
I don’t just say this because I’m legally blind. The way you look at someone and admire their beauty is the way others may see you. You can’t always see the beauty in yourself, so take someone’s word once in awhile. Just because you don’t see how gorgeous you are, doesn’t mean you aren’t gorgeous. You’re just bias. Believe me when I say you’re stunning.
3. Ignore the Negative.
I was told by a lot of mean people that I was fat and ugly. I hated my appearance, because someone told me I should. Never accept a negative comment. Negativity and hate are fueled with jealously and insecurity. There’s no truth in their negative words.
4. Wear What You Want.
Once I started wearing clothes that I thought were “off-limits” for curvy girls, I found a new sense of pride in my body. I’ll admit it took some time not to feel silly in a crop top, but now, I embrace it.
Try new things, and remember, if you’re comfortable and feel beautiful, that’s what matters. It also takes time. You might not be comfortable in something at first, but strut around your house a bit and see if embracing yourself opens up your comfort zone.
5. Don’t Hide in Layers.
I used to layer and hide behind baggy hoodies and cardigans. Honestly, I would buy shirts a size bigger than I needed, and I wouldn’t even wear tank tops in the summer. I’m so much happier not hiding my body.
It’s not always easy to put yourself out there when you’re used to hiding, but it’s freeing and has really built my confidence up. It goes hand in hand with trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone.
6. Society Can Shove It!
Society will always have “standards” that some jerks made up and decided what beautiful should look like. Society’s ideas of beauty are changing at a turtle-like pace, but at least, there’s some change. Keep feeling beautiful even if a runway or magazine makes you feel otherwise. Look up to those who embrace every body and diversity. That’s where there is real beauty.
7. Be Healthy.
Healthy doesn’t always mean skinny or lean. Every body is different, and healthy looks different for every body. Don’t abuse your body or punish yourself for not looking a certain way. Love the skin your in, and treat your body right.
Being You is Beautiful.
Feel free to share your tips for feeling good. Pictures of your beautiful faces are always welcome too!