When I became a mom, I didn’t realize I would be asked why 42 million times a day. I say “because I said so,” more times than not. However, I’ve come up with other reasons and explanations. I’m pretty sure I have a fair amount of excuses that I didn’t pull out until I became a mom.

Not all of these reasons are for backing up the word no. Some of these reasons and excuses could be why I didn’t feel like doing a certain household duty or what have you. This is just a fun post with some of my momsplaing.

It’s Spicy

I share every single piece of food I eat. Before I had kids, I swore I’d never share or let my kids bully me out of my food. I thought I’d always have their own food perfectly prepped on cute little plates. That’s hilarious now. I can’t even make it to my seat with a plate in-hand without being swarmed by toddlers. My daughter isn’t even 2 years old yet and she goes “mmm” until I feed her my food. She does this while pushing her body against my arm and glaring at me.

I’ve tried saying my food is spicy. I’ve gone as far as to say a hot fudge sundae was spicy. That doesn’t even come close to working, because my daughter got into a bag of jalapeño chips and discovered she loves spice like her father. I have to hide and lock away spicy food so it doesn’t irritate her belly. She’s fearless with food.

It’s Raining/Snowing

This isn’t so much what I tell my kids, but more so myself. I get out of mopping the kitchen and doing floors if it’s raining or snowing. It’s not a lie really, but I use it as an excuse to skip floor day.

We have dogs. They track in everything, so when the weather isn’t lovely, I skip chunks of my cleaning routine. I know it’s lazy, but what’s the point? I could mop and re-mop, but mud will find it’s way into my house.

Tooth Fairy | Santa | Easter Bunny

I threatened my kids every day of December with Santa. They always seem like they are on their best behavior during months where there are major holidays. I’m pretty sure I even told my son that Santa would be extra good to him if he stuck with potty training. Hey, a moms gotta do what a moms gotta do.

Talking about the tooth fairy keeps my kids’ teeth white and clean. I told them the tooth fairy doesn’t like yucky teeth, and they won’t get paid for lost teeth that aren’t clean. I know they won’t lose teeth for a few years, but hygiene isn’t always easy when you have protesting toddlers.

I’m hoping my daughter will give her binky to the Easter bunny in exchange for candy and a pretty dress. I know it’s bribery, and I’m okay with it. Being a parent isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, there’s bribery and imaginary holiday creatures.

Always Need a Reason

No matter what the situation may be, my toddlers always need a reason or explanation. I’m not mad about having to repeat myself or break everything little thing down. As exhausting as it can be, I love talking to my kiddos. I love how curious they are, and if I can keep their pursuit of knowledge alive, no matter how random the questions, I will.

To finish out the post, I want to leave you with a few weird things I’ve said and also asked my littles. Most of these random questions or demands have happened in the last two months.

She Said What?

Asked/Told Son

  • Don’t put your pee-bug on coffee table.
  • Why is there a spatula in your pull-up?
  • Did you put gummies in your sister’s hair?
  • Don’t flush legos down the potty.
  • Why is there tape on your eyebrows?
  • Please don’t tie your sister’s shoes together.
  • Don’t use my makeup brushes as paint brushes.

Asked/Told Daughter

  • Don’t eat dog food with the dust pan.
  • Did you brush your teeth with peanut butter?
  • Please don’t put the cat’s tail in the outlet.
  • Did you put shoes on the dog?
  • Don’t put my chapstick between your toes.
  • Please don’t put the cat in the potty.
  • Did you put toothpaste in your brother’s ear?

I’d love to hear some of your mom reasons and odd ball things you’ve said to your kids! Have a wonderful week.

Written by

Jenni

I'm a wife and stay at home mom. I'm not a domestic goddess but more like a demi-goddess, because I don't have super strength or multiple arms. I have two hands and just try to drink my coffee and conquers the momdays.