Valentine’s Day is approaching, and I’ve already talked about why I love it here. Love is in the air, and it’s time to talk about it- it’s time to talk about sex.

I’ve heard jokes from my husband’s coworkers and from friends that once you’re married and a parent, you’re sex life becomes non-existent. Let me stop you there. Our sex life has only gotten more amazing. Granted, we have toddlers, so there are times when we can’t just rip our clothes off and go at it like we’d like to.

I won’t lie and say we weren’t difficult to be around the first few months and maybe even years we were together, because we were all over each other. To be honest, we’ve also had low peeks with our sex life, but that was usually because there were health restrictions from delivering babies and having surgeries. Other than that, our sexual life is only getting better as we get older.

I know a few people who are probably appalled that I’m talking about sex on a mom blog, but how else do you think I became a mom? I genuinely believe sex is extremely important whether you’re in a relationship or not. I’m very open minded, and I’m the furthest thing from shy when it comes to the topic.

Sex is healthy.

Having sex is healthy if you’re being safe and smart about it. It keeps you active. It satisfies parts of you mentally and physically. Why not be okay talking about something that releases endorphins and improves your mood? I’m not a doctor, but I’ve been told orgasms are proven to get rid of headaches. I think half of being a parent is constantly having a headache, or maybe that’s just me but I doubt it.

As mentioned before, I’m not a doctor, but there are proven health benefits when it comes to sex.

  • Improves immune system
  • Promotes better sleep
  • Increases heart health and strengthens other muscles
  • Improves blood pressure
  • Increases satisfaction with mental health
  • Improves self-esteem

Check out the benefits and read more about how sex improves health here. Do some research and talk to your doctors. Talking about it with someone educated might also help with making you more comfortable when talking about it.

Sex is important in a relationship.

In my opinion, having a healthy sex life helps a relationship thrive. Of course sex isn’t the only ingredient to a happy partnership, but if I was having bad sex or no sex, it would definitely affect my relationship. Being intimate and sharing yourself with someone deepens trust. It relieves stress. It’s an activity to do together, and if you both are having a good time, then the positive keeps coming- no pun intended.

I can’t really speak on a sex life that isn’t between a committed couple, because that’s not my situation. I believe that if you’re having safe sex and being open with whom ever you pick as a partner or partners, then more power to you. Get it!

Being open minded is fun.

Since we began our relationship, we’ve kept an open mind with sex. We’ve made trips to the adult store, and I’m even a rewards member that gets coupons. We have no shame in trying new oils or toys. Being adventurous helps when we feel like we are in a rut with work or if we are stressed.

We have openly talked about what we like and dislike. We’ve explored with each other, and it genuinely benefited our marriage. I’m not a sex therapist, although, I wish that’s what I would have gotten my degree in rather than English. I just think that talking about sex is important. If the lines of communication are open, you can venture into something new if you want without making the other person uncomfortable. It’s important to know each other’s favorites as well as limits.

Stop sex shaming.

I would never sex shame in anyway. I always say let your freak flag fly. If both parties are on board and safe, then why not? It’s their business. I’ve actually been shamed for being so open. I’ve been in group discussions about masturbation and sex toys and have had women say some snarky things. I’ve had some pretty odd conversations too. A few ladies told me they never touched themselves because “that’s what men are for” and they weren’t “that desperate.” Let me just roll my eyes and laugh at those remarks again.

I genuinely believe that it’s important to know what you like in terms of sex. I think “double clicking your mouse” or whatever you want to call it, is healthy and important. If you disagree, that’s your opinion, but don’t put me or others down for knowing and loving our bodies.

I had a friend that I admired so much. She knew what she wanted, and she had no shame about it. People at school spread rumors about her and called her a slut, but she didn’t care. She taught me that sex is natural, and if you’re smart about it, you can and will enjoy it. She really taught me to not be shy about sex as well as my body.

Have a sexy week.

With the holiday of love approaching, have a sexy week. Have a sexy month. Enjoy yourself and/or your partner if you want one. Try something new if you want or slow things down with good old fashion love making. Just feel sexy and have a good time.

Written by

Jenni

I'm a wife and stay at home mom. I'm not a domestic goddess but more like a demi-goddess, because I don't have super strength or multiple arms. I have two hands and just try to drink my coffee and conquers the momdays.