Let’s Talk About Sex, Momma

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Valentine’s Day is approaching, and I’ve already talked about why I love it here. Love is in the air, and it’s time to talk about it- it’s time to talk about sex.

I’ve heard jokes from my husband’s coworkers and from friends that once you’re married and a parent, you’re sex life becomes non-existent. Let me stop you there. Our sex life has only gotten more amazing. Granted, we have toddlers, so there are times when we can’t just rip our clothes off and go at it like we’d like to.

I won’t lie and say we weren’t difficult to be around the first few months and maybe even years we were together, because we were all over each other. To be honest, we’ve also had low peeks with our sex life, but that was usually because there were health restrictions from delivering babies and having surgeries. Other than that, our sexual life is only getting better as we get older.

I know a few people who are probably appalled that I’m talking about sex on a mom blog, but how else do you think I became a mom? I genuinely believe sex is extremely important whether you’re in a relationship or not. I’m very open minded, and I’m the furthest thing from shy when it comes to the topic.

Sex is healthy.

Having sex is healthy if you’re being safe and smart about it. It keeps you active. It satisfies parts of you mentally and physically. Why not be okay talking about something that releases endorphins and improves your mood? I’m not a doctor, but I’ve been told orgasms are proven to get rid of headaches. I think half of being a parent is constantly having a headache, or maybe that’s just me but I doubt it.

As mentioned before, I’m not a doctor, but there are proven health benefits when it comes to sex.

  • Improves immune system
  • Promotes better sleep
  • Increases heart health and strengthens other muscles
  • Improves blood pressure
  • Increases satisfaction with mental health
  • Improves self-esteem

Check out the benefits and read more about how sex improves health here. Do some research and talk to your doctors. Talking about it with someone educated might also help with making you more comfortable when talking about it.

Sex is important in a relationship.

In my opinion, having a healthy sex life helps a relationship thrive. Of course sex isn’t the only ingredient to a happy partnership, but if I was having bad sex or no sex, it would definitely affect my relationship. Being intimate and sharing yourself with someone deepens trust. It relieves stress. It’s an activity to do together, and if you both are having a good time, then the positive keeps coming- no pun intended.

I can’t really speak on a sex life that isn’t between a committed couple, because that’s not my situation. I believe that if you’re having safe sex and being open with whom ever you pick as a partner or partners, then more power to you. Get it!

Being open minded is fun.

Since we began our relationship, we’ve kept an open mind with sex. We’ve made trips to the adult store, and I’m even a rewards member that gets coupons. We have no shame in trying new oils or toys. Being adventurous helps when we feel like we are in a rut with work or if we are stressed.

We have openly talked about what we like and dislike. We’ve explored with each other, and it genuinely benefited our marriage. I’m not a sex therapist, although, I wish that’s what I would have gotten my degree in rather than English. I just think that talking about sex is important. If the lines of communication are open, you can venture into something new if you want without making the other person uncomfortable. It’s important to know each other’s favorites as well as limits.

Stop sex shaming.

I would never sex shame in anyway. I always say let your freak flag fly. If both parties are on board and safe, then why not? It’s their business. I’ve actually been shamed for being so open. I’ve been in group discussions about masturbation and sex toys and have had women say some snarky things. I’ve had some pretty odd conversations too. A few ladies told me they never touched themselves because “that’s what men are for” and they weren’t “that desperate.” Let me just roll my eyes and laugh at those remarks again.

I genuinely believe that it’s important to know what you like in terms of sex. I think “double clicking your mouse” or whatever you want to call it, is healthy and important. If you disagree, that’s your opinion, but don’t put me or others down for knowing and loving our bodies.

I had a friend that I admired so much. She knew what she wanted, and she had no shame about it. People at school spread rumors about her and called her a slut, but she didn’t care. She taught me that sex is natural, and if you’re smart about it, you can and will enjoy it. She really taught me to not be shy about sex as well as my body.

Have a sexy week.

With the holiday of love approaching, have a sexy week. Have a sexy month. Enjoy yourself and/or your partner if you want one. Try something new if you want or slow things down with good old fashion love making. Just feel sexy and have a good time.

-With Love,


36 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Sex, Momma”

  1. You go girl! I’ve found our sex life has slowed down a bit after 50, but we still go at it from time to time. Thanks for keeping it real and those communication lines open.
    Cheers Carolyn

  2. Love this!!! It’s nice when women feel comfortable talking about sex. I used to but after my divorce, too many men looked at it as an invitation. Ugh! SMDH! Sex is an important part of bonding in a relationship. It is essential! Great post!!

      1. Oh yes!! I did a blog post video on it. I made it funny. But it’s accurate. It’s called Social media and the single girl. I had a lot of fun with this post! 😂

      2. That sounds amazing! People need to learn boundaries. Just because I’m open about sex doesn’t mean I’m going to throw my cat at everyone. 😂

  3. I love this about you SO damn much. You’re as real as they come and that’s something to respect out here. I totally agree with this on all counts!!! YES YES AND YES. I can never understand women who aren’t sexually satisfied or in tune with their husbands when it comes to sex and yet that’s ok with them. I call bullshit. I will ALWAYS stand by this: if there is no sexual chemistry it will NOT work in the long run. (TRY BEFORE YOU BUY LADIES LMFAO!!!) I’ve been with my husband since we were 17.. we are turning 34 and it’s better than ever. When it works it just works!!!

    1. Exactly! Damn, with all these yeses people might think we’re having sex. 😂

      I think sex is vital because your body is your damn temple! Know the ins and outs and what makes you feel good.

      Thanks! 😊

      1. LMAO I swear I did not connect the yeses!!!! Omg I just re-read that in a sexual tone BAHAHAHAH what was I thinking!!

  4. I agree that sex is so important in marriage. God created it to increase our intimacy in all areas of our marriage…and for procreation. Most married folks don’t take care of the other areas of the relationship, which damages the sexual aspect IMHO. This is a touchy subject for me because I’m pretty sure my last two kiddos did some damage down there. I don’t get anything out of it anymore, except physical closeness and the satisfaction of pleasing my husband. Doc says that’s just how it is sometimes. Thanks for nothing, Doc. Anyway, I’m sad for what I’ve lost, but it’s not for lack of trying!

    Great post!

  5. This was so much fun to read haha! Thanks for putting posts like this out there – it’s super empowering to talk about our sex lives openly

  6. I agree that sex is important in a relationship. At least, it is for me. The physical, intimate bond I share with my partner during sex is beyond compare. I love cuddling him. I love holding hands. I love everything we do together. But sex itself has been so imperative to the health of our relationship overall. We can exist without it, as we do have other forms of intimacy that I love. But there’s no reason to hide it: I enjoy our sex life for the emotional and physical benefits it brings me.

    Thanks for being open about this topic!

    Jessica | The Unplug Initiative

  7. I loved this! My husband and I want baby number two and have been trying to come up with ways to “get each other off” without having sex because the dr said I had to wait 3 months before trying to get pregnant. I read this to my husband and he asked if the adult store would be something I was interested in… why he didn’t mention it before I don’t know but awesome read and I completely agree! People need sex and relationships need sex! If you ever become a sex therapist I will need your number lol!

    1. Thanks so much! I love the sex store, and we’ve tried a few fun things from there. The couples games are fun too. Definitely check it out. Glad you guys enjoyed it! If I ever go for my master’s and then doctorate, I’ll let ya know! 😊

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