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Coffee Talks: Being Extra on Your Birthday

So every February, I’d like to claim the month for myself. I may say this with a laugh, but let me tell you that I’m being extra for a reason. I tell myself that I have an entire month to try and get at least one day right. I know it sounds a bit negative, but I’m trying to be hopeful rather than a Debbie-downer.

I mean, I’m sure there’s some actual people who celebrate the whole month and everything is extravagant and wonderful. That’s not me. I’m extra, because I want to feel special. I haven’t had a problem free birthday, like ever.

Pardon my sass today. It’s been a very exhausting week and weekend with family drama, health scares, and a lot of ups and downs. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s all coming across very sassy- I think I’ve said the word extra enough times to get my point across.

Let’s shift gears. I love birthdays, but mine is never like I’d imagine it to be. I won’t lie and say the entire day is bad. I’ve had some people try to salvage the night once they see the shit-show of February 10th. The day just always starts out awful.

I’m not lying about this next story. It’s crazy and fairly funny. So, my husband woke up last year on my birthday and couldn’t breathe. He started to panic, because he couldn’t get a full breath of air or talk clearly. Here, his hangy-ball in his throat, uvula if your more of an adult than me, was swollen. It was very swollen, and our first thought was that we needed a hospital.

It dawned on me while we were scrambling around that he slept with our son, because he had a bad nightmare. He slept in an odd position without a pillow, and I remember him snoring more than he’s ever done. I made some calls to the nurses in our family. The issue was all of the air he sucked in while snoring had beat up his uvula. I’m laughing typing this, because he’s 6 foot, 250 lbs of hunky man. All it took for him to be down for the count was an enlarged hangy-ball. He can take a hit like a champ, but if he has a sore throat, he’s in bed.

I’ll let that sink in. That’s how my birthdays go. If someone doesn’t have a random illness, there’s a blizzard. The year that I was pregnant with my oldest, our water heater broke. At my 16th birthday, a girl lost the “diamond” out of her promise ring that her boyfriend of 2 months gave her. She cried, the lights and music stopped, and the entire party looked for this stone for the majority of my attempted sweet 16 party.

There’s just so many random events that pop up on my birthday. For my 21st, my ex boyfriend’s boss took me to get my first legal drink. I got sick, but not from alcohol. We found out that I needed my gallbladder removed shortly after.

I just want a birthday where I don’t have to ask to be celebrated. I don’t want to request that someone make me a cake. I don’t want to blow up my own balloons. I want people to put in effort without me prompting them. If stuff goes south, at least they attempted from the heart.

I try to be extra for other people’s birthdays. I pamper. I spend. I make them the center of attention. If I don’t have the money to go all out, I still find a way to make it magical. I bake them goodies and try my best to make them feel special if I can. That’s what your supposed to do for those you love on birthdays. I genuinely believe that you should always celebrate, big or small, no matter how old you are.

It may seem silly that I’m still chasing an awesome birthday, but I’m determined. If my mom, husband, and friends don’t put their heads together for my 30th, I’m going to be devastated. That gives them two years to get their act together.

I promise I’m not spoiled. Well, my husband may spoil me a bit, but it’s mutual. I’m just chasing a good birthday. I don’t expect strobe lights or a giant surprise party. I just want a cake I didn’t have to make or ask someone to make. I want a balloon or two. I like simplicity. I value the small gestures the most.

  • Make me a pot or coffee and set a new coffee cup in front of it with my favorite creamer.
  • Send a sweet birthday message or call me.
  • Volunteer to hang with the kids while I get a bubble bath and dress up.

If someone wants to spend money on me, I appreciate little things the most that way too.

  • I love new journals and planners.
  • Coffee cups always make me smile.
  • You can put my blog logo on a tote bag or shirt fairly cheap, and there are a ton of sites that do it.
  • I love chapstick and lip products.
  • Bath bombs and masks for hair and face are lovely and inexpensive.

I could go on and on. I’ve had family members who I managed to celebrate even during my brokest years. Birthdays don’t always equate to spending large amounts of money. I just want to be thought of first for once. If that makes me extra, than I’m okay with it.

All sass aside, I can’t wait for this coming Sunday. I’m going to make 28 my best year yet. I have goals and so much planned.

Blog a little bigger.

I’m going to keep growing my blog. I plan on learning more about self-hosting and SEO. I’m going to keep promoting, engaging, and being apart of the amazing blogging community.

I want to make my social media presence grow too, so I can find other blogs to follow. Some of the most incredible people I’ve connected with are bloggers. I’ve also been thinking about finally taking the Instagram plunge for my blog. I know a lot of bloggers say that traffic from Instagram is touch and go. My biggest issue is not knowing what pictures to post, but I may get one soon and try it out.

Continue on my health journey.

I want to keep making smarter food choices and working out. I love how working out feels. I also love the confidence I’ve gained from being healthier. Working out hasn’t made me love my body, but it has showed me what I’m capable of, and that’s where my confidence comes from.

Stay positive during the negative.

My biggest goal is to keep being positive. It’s okay to have moments, but I want to always try to find the good. Take my birthday for example. Even if it doesn’t go well, I plan on dressing up. I’ve decided on making a big dinner with my husband and enjoying the day with my kids. It will be low-key, but it will be special even if a disaster pops up. I’ve had dozens of rough birthdays, so I’ll be prepared to be strong and smile through it.

Feel free to tell me how you like to celebrate birthdays. Have a good week!



  1. My jaw actually dropped when I read about your 16th birthday party – I can’t imagine ruining someone else’s day like that….

    I hope that you have a wonderful birthday where you feel appreciated and loved by those around you! Birthdays are such a tough time for so many people – I think in part because of the expectations that come with them (.. expectations that are heightened because of social media).

    Loved your blogger goals – I’m in the same boat of wanting to grow my blog through social media and SEO improvements. I feel like every time I fix something up though, I need to fix something else – but at least it keeps me busy. Also, I think I literally checked twice this weekend if you had an IG when I realized I wasn’t following you there lol!

    • Thanks so much! Glad you get where I’m coming from. I just expect a little love, so here’s to hoping!

      I love your blog, and I’m happy we are both working and improving. It’s nice to have someone who can relate.

      I want an Instagram, but is it mainly selfies and coffee pictures? Not sure if I want my kids plastered on there too much. I’m sure I will have a few pictures of them, but online weirdos make me nervous.

      • Yeah. Sometimes, I do research and think about getting one, but I usually get overwhelmed and change my mind. I have no clue what I would post, and I’m fairly happy with Pinterest and Twitter.

  2. Loved your blogging goals! And I get it about birthdays. I always feel like everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday! Hope you have the perfect, low-key birthday with all the love! And I am so glad to hear you say that about Instagram. I have one but I get nervous when I post my kids on there. But what else do I post? My account is totally new and I just am not good at it lol. But I see other bloggers who have tons of interaction. Haven’t decided on it yet but we’ll see. Thank you for sharing and have a great birthday weekend!

    • Thanks so much! Glad someone understands. I keep trying to push myself to get Insta, but I have more dread than anything. I think I’ll stick with what I got for awhile. Thanks again!

  3. I think birthdays should be special, too. My hubby is usually awesome at making my day special. Since I hit 40, though and we have the little ones, my birthday has taken a back seat. Maybe when I turn 50 we can do it up big…

    I hope your husband reads your blog and makes 30 super special…two years is plenty of time to plan!

    Have a fantastic birthday, Jenni!

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