Coffee Talks: House Shaming
About a year and a half ago, we bought our first home. I will admit that it was a long, grueling process, but we were so proud of ourselves. Right now, a handful of our friends and family are either in the process of buying or just recently bought their first homes. It’s a really exciting time.
When we first bought our home, the comments weren’t all positive. I was pretty shocked at the way people were talking about my home and to my face nonetheless.
What We Heard
- “It’s so cute. I can’t believe how modern it is. We never thought you’d like something so modern.” -My husband is described as country I guess, so a lot of people were surprised at our new appliances and the style of our home. Guess they thought we’d live in a dump.
- “This is nice. It’s smaller than I want, but it’s a nice house.” -A fair amount of people said that our house was small. I will admit I was a bit offended. Our house is almost 1300 square feet. It does look small from the front I guess, but I think it’s a perfect size for us and our starter 3 bedroom home.
- “It’s a nice area, but I want a house where there are no neighbors.” – Trust me, we wanted to live far away from people too, but we had a lot to consider. I’m a blind SAHM, and it’s important to be close to hospitals, schools, and family in case of an emergency while my husband is at work. I also love the area. It’s right outside of the town I grew up in, and my neighbors are awesome.
We were so excited to show our friends and family what we accomplished, but only a handful of those people were positive. Whether the others didn’t mean to offend or not, it still hurt. I just wanted someone to congratulate us. We did have an amazing support system who helped us move and were very incredible, so it wasn’t all bad.
I’m happy for everyone’s successes. I support each and every one of my friends. We are too damn old to be competing and have envy. I’m just happy we are all doing our own thing.
There’s a couple we’ve known for going on 7 or 8 years. We aren’t close to them like we used to be. However, we occasionally see them at a store and catch up a bit.
They bought a home this past summer, and I was so excited for them. The woman didn’t elaborate, but I didn’t need details. We aren’t best friends or anything, but I wanted to congratulate them on such an exciting step in life. She later messaged me and thanked me for my support but said they only bought a mobile home. I shocked her even more, because I replied what does that matter? A home is a home. You did it, girl!
To me, buying your first place doesn’t have to be some fancy mansion. I’m just happy they had their own space. I’m pretty sure her opinion of me changed for the better that day.
Everyone Is Different!
I will say this until I can’t anymore. Everyone is different. Everyone has different preferences, but when someone buys a house, you don’t need to tell them all the things about their house that aren’t for you. Just smile and accept that their dream is different than your dream.
My brother-in-law and his girlfriend are buying a super amazing house, and I’m so happy for them. It’s actually a house we looked at before our current one, so that’s pretty cool. I’m just happy they found what makes them happy, and that’s how you should support the ones you love.
It took me a while to shake off those little digs. It took me a while to say who the hell cares what people think? It’s hard when you want your friends and family to think highly of you and your choices, but in the end, they are your choices. It’s your life. It’s our home, and if it’s not what everyone else likes, who cares?
Let’s Stay Positive
If you know people who are buying or recently bought a living space, just be positive. Compliment their home without throwing tiny shade pebbles. I will always support and be happy for those who are succeeding around me.