Here I am, scrolling through Instagram hashtags for curly hair and the curly girl method. The curl envy is real this week. I do my best to love myself exactly as I am, but I’d be a big liar if I told you that I never said, “I want her hair!”
I’ve talked about my hairs random change from straight to curly because of medical reasons before and my first post about it still makes me smile. I’ve tried going strict CG method, and I’ve tried adapting my own method with some CG thrown in the mix.
I know that hormones and my hysterectomy are responsible for taking my flat, straight hair to this odd combination of curls, waves, and a small, straight underneath layer. The part that I struggle with, is what do I do with it? I can’t seem to find a win, so some days, I have a bit of hair envy.
I’m cheap, and if you’ve read my blog before, you know drugstore type products are my go-to. If I can buy it at Target, I’m happy. When I started this journey, I slowly stocked up on curly girl method approved products. I found my favorites, but I also hit a wall.
Some of the products make my scalp so itchy. To be fair, my skin and scalp have always been very sensitive, and a lot of natural, plant based products give me hives. So, some things work lovely, and some have made me want to shave my head and run it under scalding water. Lately, it feels like there’s no middle ground.
The next product I want to try is from Shea Moisture and it is for scalp issues. Shea Moisture has been one of the brands that have worked pretty well for me during this hair journey.
I haven’t tried Devacurl, because I don’t want to spend money on a potential flop. I’ve heard wonderful things, but with how picky my head is, I just can’t take the leap. Someday, I’ll give it a shot, but as a strict budgeting family, I just can’t spend that kind of money on myself.
Methods & Madness
A few months ago, I decided to mix up my hair routine and method. I love the definition that comes from the CG method, but my hair gets so tangled, and no product has helped with that. I just wanted to run my fingers through my hair, so I did a post called Curls Undone.
All of the scrunching seemed to just create a maze of tangled curls, so I stopped scrunching. I’ve been rocking a half curly-poof with wave and straight underneath. I loath it, like more than the word hate can describe. Some days, I’m not so nice and take a brush through it, which I know is a big CG method no-no.
It’s not like me to dwell on little things like this. I’m a self-love promoting queen. I think everyone is gorgeous, but I just don’t feel that way about my hair situation right now. It gets frustrating that I can’t hide my disdain towards my locks very well.
I have also strayed to some not CG approved products, and I’ve also straightened my hair 3 or 4 times in the last few months. For the most part, I try to be nice to my hair, but this journey makes me want to invest in wigs, especially since my backslide further away from CG.
Criticism & Questions
The first few months had me asking almost every curly girl that I know for help. A fair amount of them said to do nothing, because the change could only be temporary. Here I am, curlier by the damn day. The other comments I got weren’t the advice I was hoping for either.
I read that certain cuts could help, so I asked a few people in the hair biz their opinion. Many of them said that a cut has nothing to do with it. Some even said my hair wouldn’t be considered “curly” because of the straight layer I still had. One even went as far to say I was wasting my time. Not too many positives now that I’m looking back, but I don’t want to dwell on the negative. I have some curl, and I’m going to pursue it. Not pursuing curl maintenance has led my hair to look like Hagrid’s.
Still Wanting Curls
When I first saw small curls forming in my hair months ago, I instantly wanted a perm. I thought all-over curls were the answer. I had curl envy my whole life, because most of the women in my family have big curly hair. They straighten the bejesus out of their hair, so I thought if I had curls, I would rock them just as they are. Wrong!
Now, I have some curl, but I’m still not satisfied. I’m always looking up hair methods and routines to see if anyone has a similar hair story with hormones and hysterectomy causing curls, but I always come up short.
I still scroll through Pinterest looking at pins about perms, but I just don’t want to do anymore damage. For years, I dyed and bleached my hair, and I finally got it to a point where it’s healthy again, so a perms scares me. Even if I don’t like my hair most days, I don’t want it to fall out.
I know we are all guilty of envy from time to time, but I’m doing everything in my power to find new ways to love myself. Honestly, I want my daughter to know that her hair, which is partially curly, is beautiful just the way it is. I want to show my kids that you can nurture and cherish what you have, but I guess, I’m still finding a way to do that myself.
Today, I scrunched and even used a bit of gel- CG approved. I followed all of the methods I used to be strict about. I think I’m starting this curly girl journey over, and a fresh start is okay.
We all have those give up moments, but now it’s time to get back up and start over. I want to find what works best for my hair rather than envying those beautiful curlies. I may still slightly stalk them for their routines and tips though. Having role models is great as long as you remind yourself that you can be a role model too.
If you have any tips or words of wisdom, I’ll take what I can get! Thanks for being there during this wavy adventure.