Hello again, you gorgeous goddesses. Today, I want to share my top tips for feeling sexy at any size. I’ve talked about sexy being a mindset and how to grow your body confidence, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never fully indulged on the tips I’ve used to feel sexy when I’m in a schlump.
Beauty is a mindset, and that also goes for feeling sexy. You are as sexy as you feel, but I completely understand the struggle to get to that feeling. It’s not easy to say, “okay, time to feel sexy.” That’s okay though. Let me help you learn how to embrace that body and feel sexy.
1. Accept and embrace your body.
First and foremost, you need to start with acceptance. Once you can accept your body, you can build that into appreciation. Once you accept and appreciate your body, you can learn to love it and feel beautiful.
Every day, try to say something nice to and about yourself and your body. Show yourself some verbal love. Write some positive sticky notes and put them on mirrors and closet doors. From there, make a list of body positive affirmations. I’ve shared some of my favorites here.
Once you get in the habit of not only accepting a compliment but complimenting yourself, those sexy feelings will flow with a lot more ease. You’d be surprised by how far a few nice words can change your perspective.
Another way I’ve helped with embracing my body is by relabeling some areas I use to think of as flawed. I used to stress over my lower “Mommy pouch” as I like to call it, but then, I remembered that my belly has been through hell.
I struggled with bulimia for close to a decade, have had 5+ stomach surgeries, and I had two babies. That’s a lot, so I decided to show it some appreciation for not giving up on me. That change in thinking helped me look at other areas I thought were flawed, and I was able to be thankful for my body. That genuinely helped me to not only accept it but also love it.
2. Touch yourself.
If you’ve been to my blog before, you know I’m a major supporter of sex and pleasure. There’s science behind those feel good feelings from reaching climax, and there’s no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Self-pleasure can bring out the sexy side you’ve been hoping to see.
If you’re as busy as I’ve been, and there’s not a free moment to “double click your mouse” or whatever you want to call it, you can still touch yourself in other ways. When you step out of a shower, feel your body. Run your hands over yourself and actually touch your skin.
Your skin is an organ too, and maybe you need to show it some love as well. Glide your hands up your legs, and run your fingers through your hair. Show your body some attention.
3. Treat yourself.
Treating yourself could mean multiple things. The best part is that you get to decide how and what treating yourself means. For me, I always feel my sexiest if I grab a bubble bath, do a hair mask, and change into something soft and silky. It almost always causes an impromptu date night at our house.
Another way of treating yourself could be buying yourself a sexy new bra and panty set. If undies don’t bring out your inner sex goddess, try regular shopping. I love a good high waisted body con skirt. I can pair them with a lot, and it makes me feel sexy even if it’s just worn with a basic tee.
New things have that ability to bring out a spark in us. Use that spark to change how you feel about yourself and your body. Find a way to nudge those sexy feelings loose from the insecurities that are holding them hostage. Treat yourself, darlin’, because you deserve it.
4. Naked is always better.
A few years ago, you would have never gotten me to walk around naked. Now, you better call before you stop by, because I probably don’t have pants on. Naked is natural. Naked is beautiful, and you don’t have to be a model for that to be true.
I believe that we should normalize nakedness, because letting your bits breathe can do so much for your body and mind. To me, nakedness is apart of self-care. I even dedicated a post to being naked, so of course it’s on my list for feeling sexy.
Bodies are magical and capable of so much, so let that baby breathe. Walk around in the buff. Get down to the bare basics and dance around. It’s freeing, and that freeness helps boost your confidence once you can find that comfortable footing.
It took me some time to not only be naked but have the lights on at the same time. Let me tell you, once your comfortable being naked, those sexy feelings come a lot easier. So, give it a whirl, and enjoy some naked time.
5. Mix it up in the bedroom.
This tip is more for those in a relationship mainly because I can’t even remember what being single is like. I do know that feeling sexy and embracing my body has genuinely helped that spark in my marriage. Once I was able to feel sexy and stop stressing about my body, I was open to so much more than I realized.
I was able to get a bath with my husband without constantly trying to dim lights. I was able to try positions I used to worry about because of angles. I was able to just enjoy all of it, and that made me feel sexier than I’ve ever felt.
When it comes to sex, some of us worry about this or that wiggling and jiggling with certain positions. If you let go of that fear and just go for it, like fully go for it, you will end that session feeling incredibly sexy. We all have rolls when we move certain ways, so just do it. Your body is natural and beautiful just like sex, so don’t hold back.
6. Read or watch something racy.
When 50 Shades of Grey came out, I was in college. One of my friends in the English department lent me her copy. I couldn’t get through the first chapter. It was atrociously written, and in college, my English major senses were extremely annoying. I couldn’t enjoy reading without criticizing everything, and it made enjoying it a challenge. The movies, on the other hand, were a lot better in my opinion. What I’m getting at is watching or reading something that is sex oriented can help ignite that flame.
Those racy narratives have some power. When my husband and I have date night and we want to feel extra sexy, we put something like that on. Setting the mood sounds cheesy, but it works. It can work for helping you feel sexy too.
7. Get dolled up and click away.
I know that not everyone is a fan of taking pictures of themselves, let alone ones that are striped down or a little more sexy. I’m not saying you have to post them online or anything, but this helps me feel sexy.
Personally, I do share body pictures, because not only is it my job, but I genuinely want to inspire others. One picture can change a lot. Feeling sexy, regardless of size, and having that moment captured can change not only how you feel but how others feel about themselves as well. That’s why I do it.
If you’re not a public figure or blogger, make yourself a photo album. I did this when I was in the early stages of my recovery. I needed something visual that showed I was happy with myself, even if it was just for a minute and a quick camera click.
I still get dressed up and take pictures of myself. I do send some to my husband, but a lot of the time, those pictures are for me. They make me feel sexy and beautiful just as I am. Try it, you might surprise yourself.
You’re already sexy.
I hope these tips help you the way they have helped me. Feeling sexy can be a challenge, but don’t ever count yourself out of the game. Sexy is a mindset, and if you can change your mind, you can change how you see yourself.
It’s worth it to try, because you are worth it. You are worthy of seeing your true beauty. Confidence is for every body, and that’s true for feeling sexy too.
The second edition, paperback of Eat the Damn Muffin: Confidence for Every Body has a big chapter on this very topic. That book will be released at the end of September, and the mini e-book version is still available on Amazon. I believe we all deserve to love our bodies and feel sexy, so I hope you can get there.
Have a great week, and remember you’re already sexy, you just have to see that.