Coffee Talks: From SAHM to WAHM
Being a mom is and will always be my favorite job first and foremost. I decided to be a stay-at-home mom the moment we found out about our son. I was already writing from home for a music magazine, but I wasn’t really making a major income. My husband has always been the main bread winner, and we are both happy with that.
Even before kids, I enjoyed staying home. It wasn’t because I was lazy or anything of that sorts. I have had many jobs in the past. It also had nothing to do with qualifications, because I have a multifaceted Bachelor’s degree. I guess in part, my lack of vision played into staying home initially, because there isn’t inexpensive public transportation where we live, but I don’t want to blame my eyes.
If I wanted to work outside of the home, I would find a way to make it happen. I just genuinely love homemaking, but it’s not always easy to come right out and say it.
One of my minors is women and gender studies, and the only time I’ve ever said I wanted to be a homemaker in front of a group of people resulted in me being laughed at and ridiculed. Many saw it as a the opposite of female empowerment, but I instantly thought of June Clever from Leave it to Beaver. Granted that show depicts a different time period where women were oppressed, but that character was a homemaking icon for me growing up.
The work that goes into running a household is just that- WORK. I have always admired the amount of just literal shit that she did to keep her home running smoothly and beautifully. She was a manager of her everyone and everything under that roof, and I looked up to her. I may be just a tad more crass, but to each their own when it comes to language.
Just because I thought she was fabulous doesn’t mean I would ever put down working moms. It is frustrating that stay-at-home moms and working moms are pitted against each other. I think real female empowerment comes from both fronts uniting and not only accepting each other but embracing each other’s differences with grace.
I want to cook, clean, organize, and raise my babies, and if that means staying home, then so be it. It makes me happy. Staying home also allows me to do what I’m passionate about, which is writing. Housewife Hustle is a little over a year old and here to stay. I also recently published a book, and I have plans for more in the future.
Most likely, I will be a SAHM for the majority of my kids adolescences, but that doesn’t mean I can’t work from home too. Honestly, I didn’t consider my writing “real” work until this blog started to really take off, because that’s when I started putting my best effort into everything. So, here I am, writing and working from home.
Work at Home Mom
This blog has really become a job. There are no quotations around the idea of real work for me anymore, because I have grown and seen that blogging is job. It’s a hardworking and time consuming type of job, and it pairs so beautifully with raising my little ones.
I didn’t always want to be a mom, because I don’t actually like kids very much. They scare the hell me. They can be mean, and I thought I would be terrible at being a parent. Turns out, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I’m pretty damn good at it for the most part- well, today at least.
Parenting is hard, but it’s so amazing. There’s this swirling guilt that happens, but you just have to keep going and do what’s best for your babies regardless of how often you question whether or not you’re doing it right. Mom is my favorite title, but I was nervous about adding blogger and author to my name tag.
As I sit here typing on my couch with a 2 year old leaned hard on my left arm, I realized that I was able to overcome what intimated me the most. I found balance with being a mom and doing what I’m passionate about at the same time. I’ve always wanted to write, but when babies came into the picture, I didn’t know if I could do both.
Being a SAHM means jumping any and every chance those amazing little creatures need you. Working and writing from home can be tricky to navigate, because you have to have time to actually work. Stay-at-home moms don’t have a lot of free time, contrary to popular belief.
Finding a way to do both, successfully, freaked me out at first. I felt guilty for wanting to pursue something other than my mom duties, and I also feared tanking another blog. I just want to write and make a difference with my writing all while raising my minis to be good, happy, and healthy humans. I think I finally found my sweet spot, because now I definitely consider myself a work-at-home mom and a good one at that-well, like I said, today at least.
Mommy Wrote a Book
I wrote a book, and you will hear about it forever. I will probably write more too, so hang in there with my excitement. Since finishing up the publication of Eat the Damn Muffin, I’ve tried to get back into my blogger organization groove, because I can only write when there’s free time.
I usually do blog related stuff during nap and bedtimes, but I have a 4 year old who doesn’t really nap like he used to. Blogging has become a “carry the laptop everywhere” type of job. I’d love a home office, but if I can’t put eyes on my heathens, my house will collapse with toddler chaos. Plus, I just really enjoy being a present momma. Call me a hover mom or whatever the term is, but I’m more than okay with it.
Balancing kids and work hasn’t been easy as they get older like I initially thought, but I have learned to manage a balance without burning myself out as often. So, win for momma! Writing the book was the biggest challenge I’ve faced as a WAHM, because it’s a pretty intense process.
During the editing stage, I tried sitting at our kitchen table to get a few chapters edited, but my kids decided that mommy’s book was boring. They even said “it’s not a real book without lots of pictures.” I laughed it off, until I realized they captured the dish soap to make a slip and slide in the hallway.
Incidents like that were why I usually write and parent at different times. I can do both now, but it took practice to learn to multitask my momming and my working. The hybrid job that I’ve created has honestly become even more of a dream job than I imagined.
It’s definitely not all glorious. My hair is a mess, I can’t get the toaster strudel filling stain out of the corner of the rug, and sometimes I forgot to check blog related things on Twitter. I make it work for the most part though, because it involves two things I love.
Now that my blog has regularly scheduled posts and my book is out, I have to keep up with promotions, creating graphics, staying engaged, and more than I even want to list. It’s a lot, and I commend anyone who tries to do it all. It’s not easy, but if it was, it wouldn’t be worth it to me.
As a mom, I learned to always expect a bit more, and that has allowed me to stay prepared- for the most part, well, maybe half because kids are unexpected, magical monsters. The point is that I will always try to grow or challenge myself to be more. I want to be the best mom to my kids, and I want to be a good writer who inspires others. I want to keep pushing for more, and that’s kind of becoming one of my favorite parts of this job.
Working at home and being my own boss is a challenge, but it has become one of my favorite challenges. I want to continue to evolve and that includes my blog, my writing, and my overall strengths as a mom.
I will keep finding new ways to be the best mom and best self that I can be. With that being said, I will also work to not only keep up with my blog but also create new content that is ever-expanding. That is the life plan so to speak.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Coffee Talks. I actually received a suggestion about having my Monday posts be called Monday’s Muffins because of the title of my book. It peaked my interest, so I’m stewing in content ideas.
I’d love to hear about your jobs and roles as mommas, whether you work at home or out of home. No judgement, and everyone is welcome!