Truth be told, I almost packed up shop and left the online blogging and writing community. Two weeks ago, I was debating on how to tell you all that I just can’t do this anymore. I let discouragement drain the joy from my passion, and I almost gave it all up.
It is so easy to be faced with blogger burnout from posts, social media, and everything blog related. My struggles ran deeper than blogger burnout though. Between blogging, my book, and personal stresses, I felt like a failure all around.
I have been so diligent with my blog and working to increase my sessions so I can work with Mediavine. Recently, I even shared a post with SEO Made Simple, because I’m doing everything I can think of to grow Housewife Hustle. I blog for a passion first and foremost, but I also have a family to consider.
Blogging is my job. It is one of my biggest goals to turn Housewife Hustle into a career with a steady income that can help support my family. Lately, I feel like I’m doing all of this work for nothing, so I had a few days where I considered just walking away from it all.
More Than Numbers
The discouragement that I felt was more than numbers. It’s not just about sessions and views. This was about the message that I believe in, and sometimes, it feels like I’m fighting a battle I can’t win.
I want to blog for so many reasons. Helping others see their worth and beauty is one of the biggest reasons. Other reasons that I blog are to share my parenting experiences, spread awareness about disabilities and mental health, and to just help others any way I can.
I blog about blogging to help those who are just starting. Also, I review and share products that I think are worth mentioning. The point is, I blog for a laundry list of reasons about many things that I enjoy, but I felt like I was getting no where with turning this blog into something bigger.
It’s not about the numbers, but at the same time, I let those numbers sink my spirit. I felt like no one cared about my book or what I had to say about the topics I share on here. Honestly, I was self-loathing and adding to my own discouragement.
Turning It Around
It would be a lie if I flat out said I turned that negativity completely around, but I can say I am working on it. I am working on staying positive when things seem like they are going backwards. It just becomes so disappointing when you put your heart into something, and it doesn’t move or get traction like you would hope.
I am vowing to turn it around, and I will keep fighting the blogger discouragement. There are a lot of other factors that have been weighing on me like sick family and all of the overtime that my husband works. I have this guilt for wanting something like a blog and the books I write to be my career rather than getting out into the concrete workforce.
That blogger guilt is something that’s slowly fading, because I put in time and effort every single day. I stay up when everyone goes to bed just to work even more. Deep down, I know that this is not only what I am meant to do, but that I will also accomplish my goals and do big things. That hope and trust in myself is there, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments where I want to just close my laptop and walk away for awhile.
A Break Isn’t My Answer
Usually, I would take a break when I start to feel frustrated. I’ve taken blog breaks in the past, and I’ve even done posts on how to stay productive during those breaks. I’m no stranger to all of that, but I don’t believe a break is my answer.
One thing I’ve struggled with that does involve numbers is that my blog does well on posting days, but the days inbetween see quite a dip in stats. It’s disheartening to put in so much effort for that, but it is a part of blogging.
I get told to try this ecourse or that ebook all of the time. Honestly, I appreciated that someone worked their ass off to create tools to help those who struggle, but I have a strict budget and a family. I can’t live outside of my means just to attempt a strategy to increase blog stats.
As a busy toddler mom who works from home, I would love to sit and study Pinterest tips beyond what I have, but I have to put my kids and my family first. Right now, I’m writing this post 5 days before I will publish it, and in that time I will have to save, come back, save, come back, and so on and so on until it’s finished.
Sitting down to do anything blog related means I will also be jumping for babies and toddlers, pets, and whatever else is thrown my way. I work around the chaos the best I can, but I am tired. Taking a break might feel too good. It might show me that my discouragement is trying to tell me to find a new dream, and I don’t want to play into those looming negative feelings.
I will fight through this, because I love what I do. Negative feelings like discouragement and guilt will pass. They do not define me or my blog, and it’s important to remember that when this happens. You and your blog are not your negative feelings. Sometimes, you have to just rise above and breathe through it, so that’s what I’m doing.
Always a Lesson
It wouldn’t be Housewife Hustle without a lesson. Of course this is a Coffee Talks post, so it’s a bit more personal, hence the ranty nature. However, there is a lesson in my funk.
I used to scoff at that saying, “you can be anything you want,” mainly because I’m legally blind and have been told time and time again that I can’t do this or that because of my vision and safety. Honestly though, if you want to achieve a goal bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. That is what I’m doing. I’m persisting through the bullshit feelings that have weighed me down lately.
The lesson is that you have to believe you are good enough. You have to push past the feelings like guilt and disappointment, because living in those feelings won’t help you grow. That won’t help my blog or book grow. It won’t help myself or others in anyway.
You have to believe in yourself even when it seems like there is nothing to believe in anymore. Do what you love, and do it forever. You might fall out of love with that special thing occasionally, but if you genuinely want and love it, the positivity will come back.
I’m a bit angry lately, but I’m also overwhelmed. With sick family, my own mental health struggles, and very little down time, exhaustion is a word I’ve been wearing on my face.
On the bright side, I woke up today and kept fighting. My book is going to be sold in the bookstore of my college alumni. There is a roof over my head, and my kids and husband are healthy and happy. I have a lot of positives surrounding the discouragement, so I will use that to overcome the negativity.
I hope you have a beautiful week. Remember, you are not your negative feelings.