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Coffee Talks: Discouragement as a Blogger

Truth be told, I almost packed up shop and left the online blogging and writing community. Two weeks ago, I was debating on how to tell you all that I just can’t do this anymore. I let discouragement drain the joy from my passion, and I almost gave it all up.

It is so easy to be faced with blogger burnout from posts, social media, and everything blog related. My struggles ran deeper than blogger burnout though. Between blogging, my book, and personal stresses, I felt like a failure all around.

I have been so diligent with my blog and working to increase my sessions so I can work with Mediavine. Recently, I even shared a post with SEO Made Simple, because I’m doing everything I can think of to grow Housewife Hustle. I blog for a passion first and foremost, but I also have a family to consider.

Blogging is my job. It is one of my biggest goals to turn Housewife Hustle into a career with a steady income that can help support my family. Lately, I feel like I’m doing all of this work for nothing, so I had a few days where I considered just walking away from it all.

More Than Numbers

The discouragement that I felt was more than numbers. It’s not just about sessions and views. This was about the message that I believe in, and sometimes, it feels like I’m fighting a battle I can’t win.

I want to blog for so many reasons. Helping others see their worth and beauty is one of the biggest reasons. Other reasons that I blog are to share my parenting experiences, spread awareness about disabilities and mental health, and to just help others any way I can.

I blog about blogging to help those who are just starting. Also, I review and share products that I think are worth mentioning. The point is, I blog for a laundry list of reasons about many things that I enjoy, but I felt like I was getting no where with turning this blog into something bigger.

It’s not about the numbers, but at the same time, I let those numbers sink my spirit. I felt like no one cared about my book or what I had to say about the topics I share on here. Honestly, I was self-loathing and adding to my own discouragement.

Turning It Around

It would be a lie if I flat out said I turned that negativity completely around, but I can say I am working on it. I am working on staying positive when things seem like they are going backwards. It just becomes so disappointing when you put your heart into something, and it doesn’t move or get traction like you would hope.

I am vowing to turn it around, and I will keep fighting the blogger discouragement. There are a lot of other factors that have been weighing on me like sick family and all of the overtime that my husband works. I have this guilt for wanting something like a blog and the books I write to be my career rather than getting out into the concrete workforce.

That blogger guilt is something that’s slowly fading, because I put in time and effort every single day. I stay up when everyone goes to bed just to work even more. Deep down, I know that this is not only what I am meant to do, but that I will also accomplish my goals and do big things. That hope and trust in myself is there, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments where I want to just close my laptop and walk away for awhile.

A Break Isn’t My Answer

Usually, I would take a break when I start to feel frustrated. I’ve taken blog breaks in the past, and I’ve even done posts on how to stay productive during those breaks. I’m no stranger to all of that, but I don’t believe a break is my answer.

One thing I’ve struggled with that does involve numbers is that my blog does well on posting days, but the days inbetween see quite a dip in stats. It’s disheartening to put in so much effort for that, but it is a part of blogging.

I get told to try this ecourse or that ebook all of the time. Honestly, I appreciated that someone worked their ass off to create tools to help those who struggle, but I have a strict budget and a family. I can’t live outside of my means just to attempt a strategy to increase blog stats.

As a busy toddler mom who works from home, I would love to sit and study Pinterest tips beyond what I have, but I have to put my kids and my family first. Right now, I’m writing this post 5 days before I will publish it, and in that time I will have to save, come back, save, come back, and so on and so on until it’s finished.

Sitting down to do anything blog related means I will also be jumping for babies and toddlers, pets, and whatever else is thrown my way. I work around the chaos the best I can, but I am tired. Taking a break might feel too good. It might show me that my discouragement is trying to tell me to find a new dream, and I don’t want to play into those looming negative feelings.

I will fight through this, because I love what I do. Negative feelings like discouragement and guilt will pass. They do not define me or my blog, and it’s important to remember that when this happens. You and your blog are not your negative feelings. Sometimes, you have to just rise above and breathe through it, so that’s what I’m doing.

Always a Lesson

It wouldn’t be Housewife Hustle without a lesson. Of course this is a Coffee Talks post, so it’s a bit more personal, hence the ranty nature. However, there is a lesson in my funk.

I used to scoff at that saying, “you can be anything you want,” mainly because I’m legally blind and have been told time and time again that I can’t do this or that because of my vision and safety. Honestly though, if you want to achieve a goal bad enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen. That is what I’m doing. I’m persisting through the bullshit feelings that have weighed me down lately.

The lesson is that you have to believe you are good enough. You have to push past the feelings like guilt and disappointment, because living in those feelings won’t help you grow. That won’t help my blog or book grow. It won’t help myself or others in anyway.

You have to believe in yourself even when it seems like there is nothing to believe in anymore. Do what you love, and do it forever. You might fall out of love with that special thing occasionally, but if you genuinely want and love it, the positivity will come back.

I’m a bit angry lately, but I’m also overwhelmed. With sick family, my own mental health struggles, and very little down time, exhaustion is a word I’ve been wearing on my face.

On the bright side, I woke up today and kept fighting. My book is going to be sold in the bookstore of my college alumni. There is a roof over my head, and my kids and husband are healthy and happy. I have a lot of positives surrounding the discouragement, so I will use that to overcome the negativity.

I hope you have a beautiful week. Remember, you are not your negative feelings.

-With Love,

Jenni

43 Comments »

  1. Girl it is okay to feel discouraged and be frustrated. They are valid feelings that are telling you something isn’t working or that you are pushing yourself to much. It is okay and it will be okay. You have to do what is best for you. It is a fine balancing act that can be overwhelming, but you can and will find it. Sending you so much love! <3

  2. I understand. I also sometimes feel tired and discouraged. I hope you feel better soon. And I hope you keep blogging. Your blog is great!

  3. you’re such an amazing blogger and such an inspiration to me. I’m so glad you didn’t quit. I know a bit of how you’re feeling. I’ve only been blogging for a little over a year, but its so easy to feel discouraged. I want blogging to be my career, but I feel so stagnant. Like there’s so much I need to do, but I have no clue how to keep moving forward. I’m glad to know I’m not alone, but we’ll both get through this ♥

  4. The blogging world is such a massive space and it’s too often difficult to be heard, but I hope you continue to fight. I love your message and I know so many people can benefit from it and your glowing positivity. Between 2015 and 2017, I debated a lot about whether to start blogging again. I read stories from established and popular bloggers about how they made it big and I realized the running theme was that it took the vast majority of them about 5 years to get to where they were. There will always be those outliers who just shoot to the top within months, but, for most, it’s a long journey, but I believe you will get there!

  5. It certainly can get discouraging when you see so many bloggers saying they’ve made it big and are living their dreams. My blog is two years old but there have been so many changes in that time, I still consider us babies at this. It always irritates me when I google “how to make money” and see blogging on the list. It gives the impression that this is a quick ticket to success. Keep putting your heart into your blog and you will make it!

  6. Totally get the discouragement! I took a break and came back because I decided that the numbers are less important. What is more important is that I have my own little space on the internet where I can share my ideas and thoughts. Best of luck xx

  7. I am sorry to read this and know how u feel. Honestly it was too much for me and. Idid give up but i pray that steady income will come for you and u will be successful. I hope we always stay in touch and ur blog posts are always in my email ♡♡ feel free to msg me anytime and I love reading what u post ♡♡♡

    • Thanks so much for your support. I’m sorry things didn’t turn out like you hoped, but I’ll always support you regardless of blogging or not. I’m very thankful for our connection!! 😘

  8. I have felt the same way many times, but always just keep plugging along. Usually it will be one comment or message from somebody that makes me happy that I am helping just one person. I do really well with people coming to my page from Pinterest. If you go to my page you will see I have 2m monthly viewers. The least amount of viewers I get a day from Pinterest is 45…some days 100. Maybe that isn’t a lot, but I feel like it is! As far as social media, I get the most response through facebook. If you ever have any questions, maybe I can help you. xo

  9. I can totally relate to this – sometimes the end goal feels so far away, and like you I can’t just throw money at it because I don’t have any to spend! I’m trying to build my business whilst working full time and honestly it sometimes gets me down.
    We will get there though – I’m grateful for such a welcoming blogging community but also posts such as these that remind me that it’s normal to struggle and that even bloggers who have been here longer than me and are more successful still have those sorts of feelings. I hope everything starts to look up for you soon 💕

    • That was all very well said, and I definitely understand where you’re coming from. I’m grateful for this community and for honestly like yours. Thanks again for reading!

  10. I am so sorry to hear that you had to feel what you felt. All I can say in my one year of blogging journey that the feeling of anxiety & discouragement has always overpowered my happiness on small achievements, we have to choose our feelings & prioritize, kept me going. I hope you feel better & comeback as a happier person, love your tweets, blogs & always here to encourage and support you!

  11. You are inspiring. I am glad you haven’t quit. I have these same feelings, which is why I don’t treat it like a job. It takes more work than I have to put into it and bills to pay. We can only do the best we can and hope good things happen

  12. I can relate to this on so many different levels. It is very difficult to disentangle ourselves from what we have learned as the path or markers of success. Often we are force fed that success is monetary gains or possessions. Yet, I have seen time and again what a farce that belief is. I share your goals of growing my blog to assist my family financially. Often I am so harried with “stuff I HAVE TO do” or so I think, that no one is truly getting my best. I look at my ultimate goal- to be content, to be kind and to love and support others wherever and however I am able. My blog is only a fraction of that reach. My reality is that my love and care of my daughter and husband is my best most attainable shot at fulfilling my base level goal. Let’s not forget that without us running shit, there is truly no family. We cannot devalue ourselves by attaching worth to stats or growth in a world that is not tangible when it really comes down to it. I am not telling you what to do by any means, just sharing the answers that came to me in my own recent existential life crisis. You are helping people! You are a success! Keep doing you! Be kind to you! Big hugs! My final thought is that I feel as women we are just born with this guilt of never being enough for the people we love or ourselves. Look at what you have accomplished. If you were a stranger reading your own story, wouldn’t you be inspired? I know that I am.

    • You are so amazing, and this was brilliantly said. I came to this same conclusion, but I wanted to share my post to be honest with my readers. This journey has had its ups and downs, but I’m so grateful for all of it. Thank you again for your uplifting comment!! It means the world to me.

  13. I appreciate your honesty with this post, it’s so relatable. We all have been there right? It’s like the numbers don’t matter but then they kind of do matter. I felt this way my first year of blogging and it left me feeling miserable because I didn’t see much progress.

    It wasn’t until my first blog was accidentally deleted and I had to start over. This fresh start gave me my new blog and a new attitude. I stopped trying so hard and just made sure everything I did on my blog was all in fun. Immediately, I saw a huge difference.

    Like you said, you have to keep believing in yourself. I know that your experience will touch somebody in some kind of way. Thank you for sharing your truth. You are excellent at what you do. Your writing and passion comes through every time I read your blog posts. A good deed never goes unnoticed, you will get where you’re trying to go❤️ I believe in you.

    Natonya | https://justnatonya.wordpress.com

    • This means so much to me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It definitely has been a challenge, but I remember the reasons why I do this. That’s helps me to keep going, because it really does bring me a lot of happiness. Thanks again for reading, relating, and the encouragement.

      • That’s not long at all in the blogosphere. To be doing as well as you are at just over a year is commendable. The first year takes a huge amount of hustle to even get traffic much less maintain it. Just remember you are setting the building blocks now for steady traffic later.

      • Thank you so much. It has been challenging to see this and that blogger with these huge numbers and income reports with a blog that’s only been around for a year. I need to remember to not compare myself, because we will all have different versions and timeframes of success.

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